Losing a child is one of THE most devastating things a parent can go through. You tend to want to hang onto their things as long as you possibly can, even something as odd as a dish scrubber! The day we went to clear out his house, I was so broken and while packing up the kitchen and there sat a dish scrubber, the kind with the soap in the handle. I know he touched that scrubber only days before. His finger prints still had to be on it, right? Maybe it still smelled like him? So, I took that scrubber and put it in the box to come home to our house and have used it daily for 3 years….3years!!! Today I looked at that scrubber and thought to myself that perhaps I am meant to share this experience with all of you. Seems silly that a dish scrubber can mean so much! So, as I was saying, I looked at that scrubber today and it looked tired. It sits on my sink, usually empty because it goes through soap so fast! I think that I am just about ready to let that scrubber go. I know he probably gets a kick out of it and is likely saying “mom, it’s a frickin’ dish scrubber, not me”, but you can only let go when you can let go. There are still many of his things I hang onto and probably will forever and that’s ok. The point of this blog is just to say, everyone grieves differently. No matter how ridiculous something may look to you, it obviously isn’t to the person who has suffered such an incredible loss. Some things can only happen when the time is right. I stand with you and support you and hold you in love, when you decide that it’s time. Until then do what you need to do unapologetically…….L. Adelle ( ladelleiverson.com)
You, Conor and your whole family came into our lives to teach us a little something every day. We are blessed.
Aww, thanks Lynn!!
Thank you Lisa for sharing your scrubber story with us. That story is a heartbreaking insight into the world of a mom doing her very best to cope with unfathomable grief!
I love that you talk about time..from a gut perpective…seems to me that time works best when we focus on our inner knowing rather than expectations that come with a world view of how it is to be managed.
So glad you addressed it!
I look forward to more of your thoughts and wish you all the best as you navigate the holidays Lisa.
Love from Kate
Thank you Kate. Love you!
My “hang onto” is his shoes, T-shirt and jeans that he died in. Washed and folded and sitting on the washer for him to come back. I touch and kiss his Vans each time I do the weekly wash.
Thanks for sharing Sherry.
I totally relate in every aspect. My sons room looks exactly like the day he left 2 years ago. Messed up bed and all. I just can’t get myself to change anything just yet.
I hear you Jenel and keep it that way as long as you need to. Love you.
Believe it or not, time is a healing factor . I’m not having a good time right now. But, you have to believe they are in better place. No words can express the pain we endure. I will never know what u are going through. God be with you Lisa
Thank you Kathy. I hope the holidays are gentle for you.
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Donna.
Hang on to that dish scrubber!
I accidentally took home a spoon I used to feed my dying mom in hospice. Now whenever I use the spoon I get a thrill. It’s not her. But it connects me. Weirder is how I can’t bring myself to get rid of more useless things like her giant bras…it’s not hurting anyone for me to have those stashed in the back of my dresser forever.
Thank you for sharing Holly!! I love that you have the bra’s. I still have one of my dad’s undershirts in my drawer that I run across once in a while. Makes me smile.